Forthcoming

She stands by a train that stands on its tracks
She looks different than she did ten years back.
Once upon a blue moon and she was yours.
You never missed her but now your heart soars.
You had been close, of course, as lovers are,
But never close enough to see her scars.

She had been far too thin back then, not tall,
not too pretty, nothing special at all.
Her hair had been purple and black and blue
Her hair – her canvas – she changed without you.
You remember her laugh with the silly snort
That had been irritating then you thought.

When you knew her she dressed to open eyes,
She wore short shorts, taut tops, no tights, bare thighs
that her boyish figure would never suit.
Though she had appeared in some ways, quite cute.
She could be cute and kind when she wanted
But she always had to argue instead.

She had a foul tongue that uttered foul words.
Fierce arguments but something in you stirred.
She was unable to ever let you win
Up came the barrier of West Berlin
There had been bad times, as with everyone
But the bad times began when it began.

Sometimes it was bad. Sometimes it was good.
And when you needed to be understood,
And when father shouted and drank too much
When he hit you, scared your sister and such
Was she there? She never hung up the phone.
She never left you to fix it alone.

You gaze but you can’t be sure that it’s her.
You wonder what is about to occur.
You’d put her out of mind for many years
You realise, so had she, so it appears.
Doesn’t see you even though you’ve not changed.
Same clothes, hair, same face. Nothing rearranged.

Stands on the station in a modest dress.
Something simple and not made to impress.
Her clothes hinted at curves beneath their folds.
Maybe a baby is what within she holds.
She turns and sweeps into her arms a child
Behind her a familiar face smiles

He holds a smiling child in his arms too
All you can think is that could have been you.
She seems so normal now and so content.
Something you thought she would always resent.
She does not seem depressed like she had been
She’s not the girl you knew at seventeen.

She turned out so normal. Had you known this,
would you have acknowledged that she exists
after she left you for something so small
Something she probably now won’t recall.
But you know what you did. You broke her spirit.
You lied, and hurt and never did admit.

Your eyes strain to see if it’s really her
You want to apologise and not deter.
But if you don’t see her again it’s best
She’s happy. Who are you to be a pest?
Your heart aches that you ever let her go,
You hope she feels the same. It’s been ten years though.

She may have her faults but you were best friends.
You always supposed you would make amends.
But then she moved far away without a word.
Married one of your former friends, last you heard.
She always was perfect in her own way
But you made her nothing but a cliché.

They walk down the platform down past your way.
And not for one moment does her gaze stray.
For with her daughter she is more concerned
And to her husband and son she turned.
And at that very moment you realise.
She was always better off without you anyway.