Goldie the hobo

On the way in, we first saw him,

Standing by the door,

He asked us if we smoked weed,

And if we wanted more.

 

We went out the same way again,

A little while later,

He came over, tried to sell;

A big issue paper.

 

Random hobo on the street,

Tried to flirt with me,

Thought he could get in my pants...

Makes me laugh but I must disagree.

 

He says he's clean and free of drugs!

Well whats was that before?

Lying Hobo! Go back to bins.

Won't help you any more.

 

He wouldn't back off, what to do?
Decided to act bent!
But he still kept pushing me,
Couldn't get him off the scent!

 

Went to go and walk away,

He grabbed me by the neck.

Pulled me back to stand with him,

What the bloody heck.

 

Pulled me close to him,

And kissed me on the ear,

Just didn't quite know what to do,

Oh dear.

 

He told me he was a boxer,

and if I got any shit,

to go to him any day,

and he would deal with it.

 

Said my bloke was a lucky guy,

And if it didn't go right,

I was to go to him straight away,

He'd fuck me through the night!

 

Had a very lucky escape,

and only just survived.

With a hobo infected ear

and very damaged pride.